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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
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11:19 am - AAHH LEROY IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF
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Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
I'm carryin your baby
[Verse 1]
We had a love affair
we were a perfect match
everything was going good until my test came back
i was simply irresistable, unthinkable
but its acting every night
you were coming home
now i told you i can feel it
you're moving on
are you with me, tell me
[Hook]
Supposed to be my man
now my baby's dad
never thought that things would change so fast
[Chorus]
I'm carryin your baby
nine months and a day boo
why you need another
when i'm the baby's mother (i'm the baby's mama)
i'm carryin your baby (tell me why, why you're leavin now)
nine months and a day boo (when i'm home pregnant being a good lady)
why you need another (tell me why, why you're leavin now)
when i'm your baby's mother (when i'm home pregenant being a good lady)
[Verse 2]
I had to sacrifice 9 months of my life
why you actin like i made this baby on my own
you played a part
and now you're leaving me all alone
you ain't responsible oh no no no, no no no
you won't be around to see our pretty baby grow
are you with me, tell me
[Hook]
You s'posed to be my man
i don't understand
cuz you're the only one i chose
to be my baby's dad
[Chorus]
[Marques Houston]
Now hold up, wait a minute
tell me what's that ish i hear
[Needa-S]
But the whole time i carried your child
you were out there wylin out
[Marques]
You threw my ish out the window (yes i did)
you said you didn't even wanna be my friend
you need to go back to the doctor and check your test again
[Needa-S]
Now how you gon deny your son when you know you were the only one
[Marques]
If it is my kid you know, i'm gonna be responsible
baby try to understand
there's no me and you no more
you trip so much wanna throw you to the floor
[Needa-S]
That's why now you're out the door
[Chorus]
current mood:  angry
current music: Baby Momma-->Needa S
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| Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
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2:09 pm - Ok im real pissed off right now
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UGHHH i hate my boyfriend's manager....he said that they have to go out of town to promote themselves, but remember how i told you he was only gone be gone for a week well now that ish dun went up to 3...when he told me that i was like wtf...then he told me that he would be gone like that fa a good lil minute, he would go out of town for a minute, then come back for two weeks and rest and then he would leave again...im like wtf wat about me...but i dont know if i should talk to him about it cause this is wat he wants to do and i cant stop him and i dont want to
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| Monday, January 24th, 2005
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9:29 am - OMG IM SOO LONELY
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OMG i miss my boyfriend so much...god this is torture i didnt know it was gonna be so hard...its so frustrating and there was so much temptation at closeup...like this guy tommy...boy was he cute....anyway i think i have a problem with leroy...my fiance....ok this is wat happened...i called his phone and he answered and i guess he saw my number and he said let me call you back and which he never does, and i was like baby wait but he hung up on me then i called back and some girl answered and i was like...umm can i speak to leroy and she said he was busy and then i asked if i could talk to him please and she said he said why i called him private and i said cause im callin from somebody cell phone and it call private automatically and she said oh ok and then she hung up the phone...i dont know wats goin on and i dont know if i should think something is wrong...because he says he's out of town which means that he wouldnt be able to answer his phone cause he has a metro pcs and it doesnt go past west palm beach and orlando is a long way away from there...can somebody tell me wat to do...i just dont know wat to think about him sometimes sometimes he's really mean and then he turns around and then he's nice and all lovey dovey...sometimes i dont even know if he loves me or not...he's just so confusin sometimes...my brother says he's just playin wit my heart but i know he's not...can somebody please help me
current mood:  sad
current music: I Care About You--Milestones
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| Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
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6:48 pm - Oh my new email
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to all my homies and friends my new email addy is: carmelokisses06@yahoo.com email me sometime
I LOVE CARMELO ANTHONY!
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6:37 pm - OMG The Torture
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Sorry i havent updated in a while...but i just got the most HORRIBLE news...ok it may not be that serious to you but it's the world to me...im going to close up in washington this weekened and that means that i have to go through a whole WEEK without the love of my life...and then when i told him that he told me that he would be goin out of town the day before i get back for a week...so that means two weeks without him...wat am i gonna do...that means no seeing, and no talking to him...ugh i have never gone that long without him wat am i gonna do...imma miss hom so much ugh its gonna be miserable yet fun...ugh i cant wait to get home to him...i love him so much
current mood: sad
current music: I Miss You-Aaron something
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| Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
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3:12 pm - Dedicated to my one and only Leroy
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Oooh baby
You mean the world ooooh and everything that I want for
Since I've been your girl
Oh my whole life has been much better than ever before
You got a tender sweet love, yes you do
That weakens me and takes over me whenever we touch
[1] - Baby that's just why I love you so much
Baby that's just why I can't get enough
Baby that's just why I love you so much
I love only you
Now you say that your down
Oh you said you won't play around
No, no not with my heart
And when your boys come around
No your not disrespecting me
And not trying to be Mr.-wanna-be-hard
You let them know that I'm yours yes you do
By holding me, and kissing me
Let them know that for sure
[Repeat 1]
Yes, you don't ever say I'm too young thank you baby
I've been around enough to know enough to know just what I want
You don 't move too fast or make me rush
No one day we're gonna talk about making love
No doubt baby when the time is right
[Repeat 1]
Baby no one else
Can do what you're doing to me
You take me and you hold me
You run me in your arms baby
And I love you for that baby
You don't run in front of your friends
And you stand up and be a real man
I love you I love you and I love you for that baby
[Repeat 1]
current mood:  loved
current music: Why I Love You-Monica
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2:41 pm - Im About to rip my hair out
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AHH i miss leroy so much i havent seen my pookie in almost two months im goin crazy and i hate my mom for not allowing me to have a boyfriend cause if it wasnt for her we would be together right now...and i wouldnt be missin him like i am...i miss him sooooooo much i wish he was here right now...he's such a sweetie i asked him today if he would wear a livestrong bracelet but instead of saying livestrong it says carrollton (my skool) and its pink and he said yeah..isnt that sweet and he was gonna buy my dress for x-mas formal...too bad im not goin no more...ooh and he metioned me when he freestyles on his voice mail-->he says "i got three love my mom, GIRL, and music" how special does that make me feel...you have no idea...My sister told me that he's cheatin on me but i dont believe her cause she dont even know him...so wat if he's almost always busy when i want to do something wit him that doesnt mean he's cheating that just means he's busy and he has a lot on his plate right now...i just wish we could go on one actual date ya know to the movies or somethin like that but w/e im not gone complain cause i love my baby and he treats me right he doesnt front in front of his friends, he still tells me he loves me when im around him...he's not insecure...and he treats me like a queen...I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH
Hustleman ENT Fa Life Baby
current mood: happy
current music: Why I Love You-Monica
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| Monday, December 6th, 2004
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5:43 pm - Funnies
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I was watching Comic View on BET like last year or something but i remember this one joke cause it tripped me out...
Guy: You know everybody got a crazy relative in they family that just mess up the whole family because he smoke weed..I was drivin outta town with my uncle and he was high and we doin real good until he swerved and i was like yo unc wats tha problem
Uncle: Dint you see that tree we almost hit...i had to swerve to get out the way
Guy: Now im lookin and i dont see no tree...so im thinkin maybe i missed it...so we started drivin and about 10 minutes lata we swerved again and i looked and i was like wassup
Uncle: Man we almost hit another tree...you aint see it
Guy: Naw i aint see it...So im thinkin to myself aiight imma pay more attention so i can see these trees then he swerve again
Uncle: Tell me you saw that tree
Guy: Yeah i saw it now pull the car ova
Uncle: Why
Guy: Just pull the car ova...come to find out he was lookin at the car freshener
::HA HA HA that tripped me out the way he said it ha lol::
Ok i was watchin Sanford and Son last night and he was lettin a man stay in his house but the man had an elephant and he said he would pay fred the rent money if he kept his elephant until he came back and fred said yeah
Guy: So you dont think the neighbors are gonna say anything about the elephant roaring (or whatever you call it)
Fred: I'll just tell them that it's a famous singer rehearsing
Guy: Which one
Fred: Ella Phants Gerald
::HA ha ha::
Hmm what else ooh Madea Quotes yeah
"You are this close to getting fired, and you are this close to TCBY no lye relaxer." Mr. Willie and Ms. Rogers (Madea's class reunion)
"I know that God will make a way...yeah...i say i know that God will make a way...to help you pay for one of these lamps if ya break it."-Madea (Madea's class reunion)
"Get outta my yard you old pig in a blanket."-Madea (Family Renunion)
"You roll up on him like this here, then pull it out and Rock a bye baby...You try...waaaa puuughhhh...Im tryin to teach you to be Madea and you tryin to be like charlie's angels."-Madea (I can do bad all by myself)
"What i told you to do when them lil boys try to get atchu? KLINK KLINK."-Madea and Kia (I can do bad all by myself
"Speakin of planting Madea i found some Marijuana in the backyard this morning. Where did that come from?" Everyone gets quiet and looks at Madea then she suddenly says, "I got glacoma...You aint got no glacoma...Yes i do my doctor perscribed it..Imma call yo doctor and ask him...Ok you can look him up in the phone book his name dr. feel good in the mernin (morning) Aight imma pull it up in the mornin..Try if you want to its all gone be gone when you get to it...my room gone be lit up like Jamaica tonight."Madea and Diane (I can do bad all by myself)
"Rock a bye baby on the tree top...we're goin to the clinic to find out who was on top."-Madea (Family Reunion)
Madea starts clappin in Ricky's face..."Madea what are you doin" she claps some more..."Madea what are you doin...I'm tryin to turn off that bright light clap on clap off." Madea, Dian, and Rikcy (Family Reunion)
"Give me a Quaysedila...Madea its Quasedilla...Do you see a K anywhere in that word."-Madea and Dian (Class Reunion)
cant remember any more right now post more lata
current mood:  hyper
current music: You make me wanna-Usher
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| Monday, November 29th, 2004
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12:56 pm - I Am So Jealous
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Ahh do you guys know wat i found out about Leroy the other day? He has a daughter!!! Ok so she's not his real daughter ok let me explain...Before he got with me he was goin wit this other girl and when she was like 15 she got raped by her foster dad and got pregnant now when the little girl is three years old he started goin out with her mom...One day he started talkin to the little girl and since he was around so much she started to call him daddy and he would answer her saying yes princess and he would buy her everything she wanted and needed...even after he broke up with her she still calls him on his phone he visits her and everything he takes her to the movies and to the mall and she still calls him daddy and he said the girl looks just like him like she could pass for his actual daughter and when they would go out people would ask him is she his daughter and he would say no but she's his step daughter and wat not...i mean i dont know when he told me that i dont know how that made me feel i guess you could say that i was somewat jealous but i would never tell him that. Why am i jealous...ok i know its way to early to talk about this but I wanted to be the one to have his first baby or w/e...oh well i guess that ship has sailed or w/e...god i really dont know how i feel about that...ugh i guess there's nothing i can do about cause i would NEVER take him away from her...but wat im really worried about is when he takes her out with us and she goes back and tells her mom and then her mom tell Leroy that she doesnt want me around her baby and that he would either have to choose to be with me and never see the little girl again or leave me to be with the little girl and that would break my heart cause i would just walk away and not even give him a choice of choosing me cause like i said before i would never take him away from her cause i hated that my dad was taken away from me..i had a nightmare about that the other day...well anyway i have to go and take notes for history i'll be back later
current mood: jealous
current music: I Dont Know
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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10:46 am - I hate my mom
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Ok let me tell you why i hate her...she is just so cold hearted towards me like she has something against me...its just like you can see it in her eyes when she looks at me and Kathy thinks my mom is nice HA i beg to differ...let me tell you wat she did. ok the other day i was in the bathroom and i came out and her, my step sister, my step brother, and my step dad were in the room watchin something and i wanted to watch it too and i asked her if i could and she closed the door on me. I went in my bed and cried cause i dont know why she does these things to me...ok lets see wat else...oh yeah yesterday marlena called my house for me to talk to me no wait she called the day before that and i told my mom to tell her i couldnt talk and then my mom was like well why dont you want to talk to her and i said because im about to go and take a shower and she was like yeah you just dont want to talk to her in front of me is there something that you dont want me to know and i said no i just want to take a shower and she was like mmhmm and i didnt get why she was like that until the next day when she called again and i picked up on speaker phone and i was like hi and she was like hi and then my moms like get off the phone so i told Marlena that i had to go and she was still talkin so i asked her about her horse and she said she was ok and i told her again that i had to go and she said ok i'll see you tomorrow and then i hung up the phone and my mom was like wats with that girl callin for you all the time and i was like huh and she was like are you sure she doesnt like girls and my mouth dropped and i was like with a bad attitude and then i said she has a boyfriend and she was like are you sure and i didnt say nuthin i just walked away and in my head im thinkin wtf is wrong wit her how dare she come out and say some s**t like that about her she dont even know her man i was so mad its like just because i have a friend she has to be gay wat kind of s**t is that i was so pissed at her and then this mornin in the car she was like you not gettin back on the phone until you tell me wats up with you and that marlena girl why you cant talk to her infront of me man i am soo pissed at her...the things she does and says to me are unbelievable like the other day i got a 70 on one of my tests and she was like you know what i am ready to give up on you your so stupid you think you smart but you aint and then she calls me fat just because i grow out of my clothes hello i am gonna grow sometimes she calls me dumb and stuff and like last week i had a math test to study for and i didnt study for it because of her because of her telling me that im worthless and i'll grow up to be nothing and that im fat, she has been telling me this forever by the way i think ive grown to believe it and right about now my attitude towards school is like i dont care like i want to do good and i want to get somewhere i even know what i want to do in life i want to go to Tallahassee community collge for two years then go to FSU to study forensic science but like i want to do that but its like i cant i'll see myself doing other things and not studying and I'll be like i should be studying but then i dont want to but i should but i dont want to and its like why study she's not gonna notice if i do well its like the only way i can get her attention is to do bad...and she tells me im fat so i dont eat sometimes like sometimes i'll be hungry but i wont eat..sometimesi cry at night and pray that i could be with my real mom (she died when i was 14) because i know that she would never treat me this way...i wish she was here! I gotta go before i start cryin again. TTYL
current mood: sad
current music: Sometimes i feel like a motherless child
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 11th, 2004
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12:43 pm - Dedicated to my friends
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I wrote a poem the other day tell me what you think:
My Friends
They're strong and smart
Eyes that are mesmorizing
They may look mean, but they're sweet at heart
Their words are soft and inspiring.
Hair as soft as a baby's bottom
Kept in ponytails, down, or in braids
Words said are never forgotten
Whatever they feel, they say, they're not afraid.
Their words that flow are as deep as the ocean
Spoken never from the mind but from the heart
More honest and considerate than most men
Though sometimes their attitudes can be stank as a fart.
Ears made just for listening
Arms made for comfort and holding
If I didnt have them, I don't know what I would be missing
Being with them shows a true friendship unfolding.
They're alawys there when I'm in the dumps
Their sincere words have lifted me
They've shown me that I can be myself and not front
They brought out a part of me I don't allow others to see
They mean more to me than silver and gold
They've given me everything and more
If I could, I would give them treasures untold
They're my world, what more can I ask for?
They've made me see that I am beautiful
Which is something I dont get everyday
People call me names like cock-strong and pitbull
They taught me to keep my head up, despite what people say.
Their words smashed the wall
That I have built to protect my heart
I am confident that I wll not fall
And all thanks to them whom played a large part
Whenever I fell I can't go on
I close my eyes and I see
My dear friends telling me to be strong
I open my eyes and I'm as confident as can be.
From their heads all the way to their toes
They're as sweet as sweet can be
They're angels in disguise, this I know
And I want to thank them for being there for me!
This poem is dedicated to all my friends who have always been there for me, always making me laugh, comforting me, or even just being there when i needed you the most. I love and appreciate you all:
*Onika, shirley, charldreniqu (my sisters)
*Dante
*Josh
*Adrienne a.k.a. AJ
*Shanna
*Sharis
*Jamal
*Erica
*Stephanie
*Alex (skillet)
*Isa
*La'Alicia
*Romina
*Marlena
*Klara
*Tania
*Ronese
*Sarah T.
*Bibi
*Mariana D.
*Lindsey C. (Good luck @ Westpoint)
*Lauren N.
*Caro D.F.
*Patty F.
*Hosam
*Rochelle a.k.a. Roachie
*Itu
*Hailee, Elyse, Victoria H.
*Samine a.k.a. Sammy
*Shanice
*Charlisia (s/p)
*Camila O
*Dominque M. (Since we was grasshoppers)
*Gillian
*Ali
*HB (U kno hu u r)
*Jamila
*Kambrel (even though i hate you, you was always there for me when i needed u)
*Kathy L.
*Sarah Moods
*Auntie Becky (RIP)
*Mommy (RIP)
*Uncle B (RIP)
*Cheeks
*Karess
current mood: loved
current music: Best Man-Case, Tyrese, Ginuwine, RL
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 14th, 2004
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11:36 am - New Journal
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Hey yall i got a new journal the other one was too depressing, so now im starting another one to share my love life with the world...his name is Leroy and he is the sweetest thing in the whole world, we met on August 7 2004 and he had a girlfriend at first but he told me he wanted to break up with her and then on the 9th he asked me to be his girl and i said yes and we been happy together ever since, it was like love at first sight, i never believed in that but now i dont know it's just so real to me now...he told me he loved me after 5 days of knowing me, but the way he said it made me believe him...he told me that he wanted to tell me something but he wasnt sure if he should tell me yet because he didnt want to rush the relationship but i told him to tell me anyway and he was like ok and he said, "i love you girl" and my heart skipped a beat. I couldnt believe he said it because thats exactly how i was feeling...earlier in those days before he broke up with his girl i wrote a poem for him, i'll post it later and he asked me why i wrote it because he said when we write poems they express our feelings and i didnt want to tell him yet because i didnt want to scare him off with being in love with him already so i told him i just wrote for no reason and then when he told me he loved me i finally told him that i wrote the poem for him and he said he knew it all along..and ever since then we be lovey dovey whenever we talked..i admit that i had doubts because you know how guys will tell you they love you alone and call you their baby when there's no one around but Leroy he calls me his princess and his sweetie in front of his friends, and he tells them that he's gonna marry me and that makes me smile, his mom LOVES me she is the most hilarious woman i have ever met...and im in love with his cat, Gloves, that's our son...Man i know i've said it before but there's no doubt about it this time...im in love and im not afraid to show it...Leroy is my everything, my love, my pookie...yes we have nick names for each other, he calls me sweetie and i call him pookie...if you readin this babe...I LOVE YOU...MWASS
GTG Eat lunch write more lata
current mood: happy
current music: My Everything by 98 Degrees
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